| THE GIFT |
I have always been a dog
lover. When I was little, someone gave me a
German Shepherd. I loved Cookie, but
unfortunately, could not keep him because of
severe allergies. As I got older, the
allergies did not go away.
One day, someone brought a
dog guide to the school for the blind where I
attended. The man let me walk with that dog
around the auditorium. More than anything, I
wanted a dog; yet, I had those allergies to
think about. I graduated from the school, and
attended my first year of college, still
dreaming of having a dog guide. I'm totally
blind and partially deaf, and I never enjoyed
using the cane. So, I applied to several
schools for a dog. By this time, I was on
medications for my allergies and had
discovered that I am allergic to many other
things, including dogs. When I received my
acceptance letter and phone call from Pilot
Dogs, Inc., in Columbus, Ohio, I was so
excited. I made plans to get my dog guide,
finally. On May 16, 1983, I flew to Pilot Dog
school. A few days later, I met my Radar.
Radar was a big, black Labrador
Retriever, full of energy, love and ambition.
He was so
ornery. He was also a terrific worker. Radar
and I did not
bond immediately because he had a mind of his
own, and I
thought he should listen to my every command
automatically.
We trained together for four weeks, and by
the time we left
the school, we were inseparable. Everywhere I
went, Radar
was right beside me. He would walk up and
greet anyone,
including little babies. He was so gentle
with everyone he
met, and people quickly learned to love and
trust Radar.
Radar's favorite time of the year was
Christmas. When he saw
the Christmas decorations, Christmas trees,
presents and
crowded stores, he would get so excited that
he was almost
unmanageable. The first year, he devoured a
five-pound bowl
of chocolate Christmas candy, and did not get
sick. He
quickly learned to open his presents, and all
of the others
if we were not watching him closely. He loved
going to
church, playing outside in the snow, and all
of the things
that are associated with Christmas. He made
Christmas such
an interesting, exciting time for everyone
who knew him, and
always received so many gifts from many
people.
Radar and I went through much together: two
colleges, a
divorce, multiple moves, as well as various
other situations
life had to offer then. He was always there
for me; never
failing. We also shared so many fantastic
times together:
swimming together in the river, many walks
and explorations
of new places, fun with friends and family,
and my various
employments. Radar loved everyone and greeted
them with an
openness that only he could offer. When he
met my mother, it
was love at first sight. Mom has polio and
wears a brace.
Radar laid his head, gently, against her leg
without the
brace, not understanding that was her
"good leg".
I worked with people who had mental
retardation. Radar was
gentle with them, never getting upset with
them when they
would pet him harder, or pull his tail. One
New Year's, he
had six children from age two to seven
wrapped around him,
and he was ecstatic. Radar went to my
confirmation into the
Episcopal church with me; he received part of
the host at
communion and was everyone's Radar dog at
church.
Radar developed hypothyroid disease when he
was four. When
he was nine, he developed congestive liver
failure. Two
years later, he developed diabetes.
On our last Christmas together, I knew my
Radar's health was
failing, and quickly. That is the Christmas
he did not enjoy
because he was too sick. He put forth a
valiant effort
toward enjoying the festivities, but it just
was not there
for him. He had been attending college with
me as well, and
I had looked forward to our 3rd college
graduation together;
however, his health rapidly went downhill and
on March 2, I
had to give my precious Radar the most
difficult gift; that
which would relieve his pain. After his
death, a close
friend, who was dying of cancer, shared her
dream with me.
She and some friends were in a boat which
capsized. She did
not know how she would get into shore, but
Radar brought her
in. She believed that dream was telling her
it was okay to
leave earth and that Radar would help her. So
do I. On all
of the cards I received after Radar's death,
people told
how special he was, how he had given his many
gifts of love
to them and to others, and of their sadness.
Every year, Radar has a lighted angel at
Christmas, in
memory of all the Christmases he loved so
much while on
earth. Every year on Christmas morning, I
spend some special
time with Radar. I only wish he were here to
steal the
candy, unwrap all of the gifts and make a
mess out of the
decorations!
Radar, you were, and will forever remain, my
very special
gift. You gave me the gift of sight, and the
gift of
unconditional love. Merry Christmas!
- Jessie Rayl
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