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MURPHY'S LAWS
and Others Reasons Things Go Wrong
Page 12
METALAWS
If you find errors on these pages... it's to be expected
Les Miserables Metalaw:
All laws, whether good, bad or indifferent, must be obeyed to the letter.
Persig's Postulate:
The number of rational hypotheses that can explain any given phenomenon is infinite.
Lilly's Metalaw:
All laws are simulations of reality.
The Ultimate Principle:
By definition, when you are investigating the unknown you do not know what you will find.
Cooper's Metalaw:
A proliferation of new laws creates a proliferation of new loopholes.
Cole's Law:
Thinly sliced cabbage.
Mr. Cole's Axiom:
The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.
Wallace's Observation:
Everything is in a state of utter dishevelment.
Weaver's Law:
When several reporters share a cab on an assignment, the reporter in the front seat pays for all.
Doyle's Corollary:
No matter how many reporters share a cab, and no matter who pays, each puts the full fare on his own expense account.
Hartly's First Law:
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back, you've got something.
Johnson's Second Law:
If, in the course of several months, only three worthwhile social events take place, they will all fall on the same evening.
Matsch's Law:
It's better to have a horrible ending than to have horrors without end.
Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Government:
No man's life, liberty or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
Terman's Law of Innovation:
if you want a track team to win the high jump, you find one person who can jump seven feet, not seven people who can jump one foot.
Trischmann's Paradox:
A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.
Fowler's Note:
The only imperfect thing in nature is the human race.
Bucy's Law:
Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.
Churchhill's Commentary on Man:
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
Haldane's Law:
The universe is not only queerer than we imagine, it's queerer than we can imagine.
Kerr-Martin Law:
1. In dealing with their own problems, faculty members are the most extreme conservatives.
2. In dealing with otber people's problems, they are the most extreme liberals.
Law of Observation:
Nothing looks as good close up as it does from far away. Or - nothing looks as good from far away as it does close up.
The Aquinas Axiom:
What the gods get away with, the cows don't.
Newton's Little Known Seventh Law:
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
Chappaquidick/Lewinsky Theorem:
The sooner and in more detail you announce the bad news, the better.
As the laws are presented on my weekly e-mail list I will add them here. Come back each week or see them first by sending an e-mail to murphy-subscribe@topica.com
If you have other Murphy type "Laws"to add please E mail me
