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MURPHY'S LAWS
and Others Reasons Things Go Wrong
Page 11
HUMANSHIP
If you find errors on these pages... it's to be expected
First Law of Socio-Genetics:
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Beifeld's Principle:
The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of:
(1) a date,
(2) his wife,
(3) a better looking and richer male friend.
Farber's Fourth Law:
Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
Hartley's Second Law:
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Beckhap's Law:
Beauty times brains equals a constant.
Pardo's Postulates:
1. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
2. The three faithful things in life are money, a dog and an old woman.
3. Don’t care if you’re rich or not, as long as you can live comfortably and have everything you want.
Parker's Law:
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Captain Penny"s Law:
You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool MOM.
Issawi's Law of the Conservation of Evil:
The total amount of evil in any system remains constant. Hence, any diminution in one direction - for instance, a reduction in poverty or unemployment - is accompanied by an increase in another, e.g., crime or air pollution.
Katz's Law:
Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
Parker's Law of Political Statements:
The truth of any proposition has nothing to do with its credibility and vice versa.
Law of the Individual:
Nobody really cares or understands what anyone else is doing.
Steele's Plagiarism of Somebody's Philosophy:
Everybody should believe in something -I believe I'll have another drink.
Levy's Third Law:
That segment of the community with which one has the greatest sympathy as a liberal inevitably turns out to be one of the most narrow-minded and bigoted segments of the community.
Kelly's Reformation:
Nice guys don't finish nice.
The Kennedy Constant:
Don't get mad - get even.
Canada Bill Jones's Motto:
It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
Supplement:
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
Jones's Motto:
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
McClaughry's Codicil to Jones's Motto:
To make an enemy, do someone a favor.
Vique's Law:
A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
The Fifth Rule:
You have taken yourself too seriously.
As the laws are presented on my weekly e-mail list I will add them here. Come back each week or see them first by sending an e-mail to murphy-subscribe@topica.com
If you have other Murphy type "Laws"to add please E mail me
