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MURPHY'S LAWS
and Others Reasons Things Go Wrong
Page 5
MACHINESMANSHIP
If you find errors on these pages... it's to be expected
Law of Selective Gravity:
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
Klipstein's Corollary:
The most delicate component will be the one to drop.
Axthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.
Corollary.
On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.
Sprinkle's Law:
Things always fall at right angles.
The Spare Parts Principle:
The accessibility, during recovery of small parts which fall from the work bench, varies directly with the size of the part -and inversely with its importance to the completion of work underway.
Paul's Law:
You can't fall off the floor.
Johnson's First Law:
When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.
Law of Annoyance:
When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you're certain you're finished with, you will need it instantly.
Watson's Law:
The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the number and significance of any persons watching it.
Wyszkowski's Second Law:
Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.
Sattinger's Law:
It works better if you plug it in.
Lowery's Law:
If it jams - force it. if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Schmidt's Law:
If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.
Fudd's First Law of Opposition:
Push something hard enough and it will fall over.
Anthony's Law of Force:
Don't force it; get a larger hammer.
Tth Principle Concerning
Multifunctional Devices:The fewer functions any device is required to perform, the more perfectly it can perform those functions.
Cooper's Law:
All machines are amplifiers.
Horner's Five-Thumb Postulate:
Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.
Cahn's Axiom:
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Jenkinson's Law:
It won't work.
As the laws are presented on my weekly e-mail list I will add them here. Come back each week or see them first by sending an e-mail to murphy-subscribe@topica.com
If you have other Murphy type "Laws"to add please E mail me
